Blaming myself. Beating myself up. Worried. Sabotaging. Regretting. All the things.
That's where I was at this morning. In the mix of it all. Coming down off of a weekend high. Landing in pessimism and the "what's wrong" with it all.
Yes, these mornings happen to me too. Yes, I fall victim to my inner critic and my grief. It's what makes me deep. It's what makes me "get it." The rawness and the vulnerability are my growing edge but this morning I was just in a bad mood and wanted someone to complain to.
That someone called me on the phone and I let it out. All the fears, all the blame, all the concerns, all the what if's................................
I mentioned that I knew what I was doing. Well aware of how easily I could have stopped beating myself up but I just wasn't ready yet. I just didn't want to!
In hearing me mention this, my dear sister instead said, "You're frustrated. You're allowed to be frustrated right now."
I AM FRUSTRATED. And naming it and allowing it made it allllllllllllllll ok. It made the incessant list making in my head slow down. I felt seen and heard and met. I repeated it silently to myself. I'm frustrated. I'm just frustrated right now. And I've watched myself shift into a new place over the last hour. I feel less upset, at fault, growly.
It can seriously be that simple sometimes.
Where are you at? You are 100%, whole heartedly, totally and completely allowed to be where you are at right now.
NAME IT AND ALLOW IT and watch it change.