What's the underlying, hidden thread that connects all of these scenarios?
GIVING AWAY YOUR POWER: Your friends or partner expect a lot of you. You're who they assume will take over when their kids are sick to step in, you're who they assume will drive when they have an appt and need a ride, you're who they assume will do the dishes after you have dinner at their house, you're who they assume will throw them a party for their bday, you're who they assume will soothe them through the constant drama in their lives. You can kind of get a sense of what's happening. They rely on you in ways that feel beyond mutual friendship and love. You might feel kind of used, or ignored, or stepped on. You might feel more like a servant than a friend. You notice you don't ask for much in return and what you would appreciate isn't really happening.
It's not fun to be in these type of one way, sometimes toxic relationships. It can feel super disempowering and belittling.
Often times, we wind up here because we believe this is all we deserve or that we "should" say yes all the time because it's how we stay safe or loved or protected.
LACKING CONFIDENCE: Scared of being wrong, afraid to say no, exhausted and overwhelmed with life in general. No confidence, no self esteem, no way of staying empowered but always looking around waiting for the reactions and responses of everyone else before responding. Waiting for life to happen instead of creating life to happen.
INDECISION: You need to go visit your family sometime soon but you're not sure when the right time is. You haven't taken any vacation days at work but you don't want anyone to get upset or feel slighted if you take time off. You don't want to put the burden on anyone else at your job either. And, you're waiting to see if your friend is really having that gathering she mentioned a while back and you're not sure which airline to take either. Your mom keeps asking when you'll be coming and you're just not sure what to even say. You kind of like going home but you also feel like all of your boundaries are invaded and you have no personal space when you're there. It's like you are suddenly 10 again even though you no longer live there. You don't want to stay in your old room but you feel awkward telling your parents your truth..........
So now..........what's the underlying thread that runs through every scenario here? I'll give you a clue, I'm the ultimate sleuth at finding this in people. And, most people don't even realize they've got one.
Yup, it's the inner critic! In each of these scenarios the struggle exists because the inner critic's voice is the loudest and strongest.
Lately, I've noticed I'm pretty much an inner critic whisperer. Most of us operate with this inner critic running the show but literally HAVE NO IDEA. Life can just feel draining and overwhelming and off. Let's sleuth yours out, shall we? Watch for times you're critiquing yourself or giving away your power and you'll meet your inner critic pretty immediately! Or, let's strike up a conversation with each other and I'll help you sleuth yours out in no time ;).