1. Saying NO when you mean NO:
A client of mine who is a chronic overcommitter, has known that she tended to say “yes” even when her heart wasn’t in it, but didn’t know how to break the cycle. Finally, she reported after some work together, that she was asked to cater an event that she has done for many years now and, instead of saying “yes” immediately she said “I need some time to think about it.” It was pretty radical for her. She took two days to really feel into herself if she wanted to take this catering gig that was a repeat and had been hard the last couple of years. She ended up saying “yes” and had a GREAT time catering the event, made good money and felt really, really good that she had truly decided from her gut before committing. It changed the entire energy of the experience for her.
She did it from a place of intention and strength in herself not obligation. And, she was so empowered by her courage to say “I need some to to think about it,” she’s used that lines many, many times since.
I invite you to try it: “I need some time to think about it."
2. Knowing it’s not selfish to take care of yourself:
In today’s culture, women are the homemakers, child bearers, daughters, friends, sister-in-laws, breadwinners, gardeners, caretakers, wives, etc. We wear SO many hats and have not been taught how to juggle all of these responsibilities. On top of that, often when we think about taking care of ourselves in addition to everyone else, we shame and guilt trip ourselves into thinking it’s selfish!!
I mean, REALLY!? How come everyone else deserves care but we don’t?
I invite you to try it: “It’s not selfish to take care of me."
AND THEN, notice what voices of protest come up and gently say to each and every one, “It’s really not selfish to take care of me."
3. Not belittling your gut’s desires:
· A client of mine recently was working through some stuff and at the end of the session, I asked her what now feels possible because she has removed so many blocks that were in her way? In a whisper she said “I’d write!” After a loaded pause she added, “Wow, I’ve buried that so deep, I forgot it was there. I used to write all the time and it was the most creative and relieving thing I did.”
Basically, once she took on all of her roles as worker, homemaker and wife, she let this important part of her sink to the bottom of all the other demands. She was totally enraptured by this thought that bubbled up from her intuition. But even in our conversation she started brushing it off. Laughing it off as if it was some silly idea that was what she used to do as a younger women but doesn’t have time for now.
We talked about it more and envisioned what it might feel like for her to put pen to paper just because her gut was telling her to do so. Slowly, she came around. She noticed how strong the voice inside of her was guiding her to write and how much she just laughed it right off. But, she made some time for it and her wise stories gathered over years are pouring out like a dammed stream free at last. She has so much wisdom to jot down.
I invite you to try it: What is your gut’s desire? How can you take one step toward meeting that desire this week?