It's funny that I don't use those words that often because really that is so much of what I talk about with you all. I guess those words just don't really quite do it for me.
Think about it, self care, taking care of ourselves. Such buzz words these days. And in my opinion for super good reason.
I want to talk about some of the myths around self care today and some of what I consider fact instead:
Myth #1: Self care looks like massages, pedicures and yoga class.
Truth: Those activities may in fact look like self care for some people but definitely not for all people. I know plenty of people who go to yoga, feel better for a moment, then leave class and sink directly back into guilt, self doubt, shame, fear, overhwelm. What works for one does not work for all. Generally our guts let us know what will work and actually feel rejuvenating for us. Some days for me, it’s a quiet walk around the block. Some days it’s listening to my favorite podcast. Sometimes it’s weeding in my garden.
Myth #2: Self care needs to be put in a certain time slot in the week and that is the only place it is available to be practiced.
Truth: Self care can come in a busy moment at work when we remember to take a deep breath. It can come in the middle of a tough conversation when we check in what we are really feeling and really needing. It can come when we’re on a run and we feel called to take a different route and we actually listen within and mix it up. Self care is taking five minutes in the car to recalibrate before we launch into our next task. Self care does not need to fit into some slot on our calendar, it’s the little acts that if we integrate throughout each day, that make a huge impact on our lives.
Myth #3: Self care needs to be elaborate, involved and fancy.
Truth: Self care can be so crazy simple. It can be fresh air, a sip of water, using the bathroom when our body requests we do. It can be riding our bike to work instead of driving, setting an alarm on our phone to remind us to breathe or crying when we feel tears rising. None of these acts cost money are fancy or elaborate but that take care of us. That is the whole point. To take care.
Myth #4; Self care is only something I “do” not what I “be.”
Truth: In any given moment we have a choice whether we are in our shaming, blaming, guilting, “have to” mind or whether we can live from a different place. A place that has compassion, heart, empathy and love. When we are truly experiencing self care, we are claiming it, allowing it, giving ourselves permission to experience a moment of calm so that we can turn off the guilt and truly BE for a moment’s time. It’s not what we “do” that has us feeling cared for by ourselves instead it’s how we “be."
Myth #5: We can just outsource for someone’s else’s definition and make ourselves fit into that box.
Truth: So often in our culture of social media, we outsource for other people’s opinions. We ask our friends, “What do you do for self care?” or we google, Self Care. The answer for the formula that will have you feeling cared for by yourself. is within YOU. You do not need to outsource this one. You need to insource it!
So, your turn. What does taking care of yourself look like and feel like for you? If you really turn inward and investigate, when are the times that you feel seen and heard by yourself because those are the times that you are caring for YOU!